Standing Out vs. Fitting In

Some things to think about (a few random paragraphs, loosely connected)...
These thoughts were inspired by meeting with BUILT guys from Camp Cherith 1-19-19. 

It is in our human nature to fit in. We generally want to look like, be like, act like, dress like our peers, those around us. We generally are full of pride and concerned with our image. From this place we are OK standing out if we won or out did our peers such as being faster, better, smarter, having more, doing more, etc. Winning (standing out, competing) unfortunately carries the risk of making others feel like they are "less" since in this case you are "more". Hmmmmm, doesn't seem like winning is good to me.

Everybody gets a trophy. Is this good or bad? Let's look at it in two areas: First, consider a race in track and field... The 5th graders are told to run the race as fast as they can to win first place. Give it your best try! If after the race, they all get the same recognition, what does that say? The problem arises when we mistake "First Place" as meaning your are better than the others (see competition in the paragraph above). In reality, "First Place" just means that you were the fastest runner that day. Congratulations!! Now let's consider "everybody gets a trophy" from God's perspective: Amazing Grace. In this case, we (if we believe in Jesus) all get the prize (eternal life). God puts us all on the same level and freely gives eternal life to the thief on the cross and the Christian who followed Jesus and loved others every step of the way. I think this is good and humbling because it reminds us that we are all sinners and we all need Jesus. This sets us up to humbly serve one another because we are all in the same boat (sinners saved by amazing grace).

So back to "fitting in" with regards to our faith: In our human nature, we want to fit in; this also applies to our faith. We don't want to be different or stand out because we are a Christian. I think there are two ways of looking at this: The first (self-centered) isn't fruitful or good, but the second (Christ-following) is very fruitful. The self-centered view says that, I don't want to say I'm a Christian, carry a Bible and let them know I go to church every Sunday. They might judge me as different and weird and I want to fit in. The Christ-following view says that I will be loving and kind to everyone, just like Jesus. If I stand out, let me be weird because I love others (not because I'm a Christian or because I go to church). "They will know that we are Christians by our love." (John 13:35) In the Christ-following view we stand out for leading by example and laying down our lives for others (John 15:13) and everybody wins the more we all do this (God's amazing grace). I think this is a good idea. :)

So I hope that you can ponder and think a bit on these topics. My prayer is that if we stand out, if we are weird, different and don't fit in, it is because we have received God's grace/forgiveness/love and that we freely give it to others. May we be known for this and may it turn others to the Giver of Grace and all good things. To God be the glory. Amen.

Mindfulness 101

Yesterday was a great Saturday, filled with good things.  But I was busy (as I usually am) and around 8pm, I sat in a chair and was still for just a few minutes.  It was so good, that I want to do two things: 1) write this post for you (and for me) and 2) start to incorporate it into my daily routine. 

So what are we talking about anyway?  Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, pick your word, but I'm going to define it as being awake, at peace and still with complete freedom.  Think of it as "checking out" or even "escaping" for a few moments.  Some envision stepping out of yourself and observing your self from the outside.  Whatever works for you. 

Why?  Because it's good for you (and all those around you).  The mind needs good rest at night to sort through the previous day and set you up for success for the new day (there are countless articles and data supporting this).  And the great part about sleep, is you don't have to think about it.  Your brain does it automatically while you are resting in deep sleep.  BUT that's not what we are talking about here.  I'm not going ot ramble on and justify that it's good for you but what I will ask is that you try it for 10 days and then decide for yourself. 

Here are a few guidelines that I am going to try to follow (take them with a grain of salt and feel free to modify per your preference)

• Set a timer:  I prefer to set a timer, that way I'm free to let thoughts go.  Start small with 5 minutes and then take it from there.  
• Eyes:  I close my eyes so I have fewer distractions, but feel free to pick something to look at, but stay focused.  
• Head: Straight posture, not leaning on a headrest tempting sleep ;)
• Feet:  Flat on the floor.  Don't cross your legs.
• Hands:  I prefer open hands, palms up, ready to receive whatever peace comes your way.  
• Breathing:  Deep and slow, usually I start by paying close attention to my breaths (intently observing).  
• Mind:  This is the most important (obviously) and my suggestion is to just keep it free and observe.  If you think of your todo list, don't fret, there's nothing wrong with a todo list.  Just let your thoughts come and go observing each one.  Same with feeling or sights or sounds.  If you have an itch, don't scratch it, just observe it, feel it and then move on.  
• Where:  Up to you, but a peaceful quiet place where you won't be interrupted is recommended.  
• A word:  Some people pick a word or phrase to center/re-center on during their time.  Totally up to you.  

I'd love to hear what you think after trying something for 5-10 days.    

Choose Your Own Adventure (Grace)

I dont know if you remember those "choose your own adventure" books where you got to make decisions and the story would unfold based on those decisions...  Life is kinda like that too and this blog has that simple style too (but only 1 question as I like to keep it short).

Q1:  If all your accomplishments big and small were stripped away and shown to have no worth, would you be OK standing before God with nothing but your sinful, selfish, self to offer?  Would you be OK?  Why or why not?

Option A:  If your answer is "Yes, I'm OK because that's how grace works." then from that place (all of your accomplishments being worth nothing), how do you operate today, this week, month, year?  What do you aim at?  What is really important?

Option B:  If your answer is, "No, I'd be scared, ashamed and fearful standing there, a sinner." then I'd encourage you to sit down in that place before God and watch how He treats anyone who comes to Him. As you sit and watch God interact with the sinners who come, I think you will be surprised and likely overwhelmed.  You may be tempted to cry out "it's not fair" as you see worse sinners than you freely accepted and loved by God. 

(INSERT TIME HERE TO PONDER AND THINK)

Here are a few verses for you...

• A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. (Isa 42:3)
• All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. (John 6:37)
• "Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." (Rev 3:20)

Let's Start with Identity

Happy New Year!!
Thanks for reading.

Just going to recap some of my THMs (Take Home Messages) from the sermon this morning at Grace Roseville (http://www.extendgrace.org/) by Mark Allen...
   Twas a great sermon and start to a new year.  He reminded us to remember our identity, "I am a child of God."  Easier said than done, I know.  To help me remember, I need to get up early and write it and re-write it in my journal.  How do you remember who you are?
   The other aha for me is the following...

I've been focused on my goals for 2017 which isn't a bad thing, but there's a logical order to it and without a solid base to your pyramid, your top two layers may be misdirected (this risk is completely avoidable).
   If your identity (firm foundation) is solid on the rock (Matt 7:24-27) you can discover your specific purpose through that lens (child of God).  This is not our home, so seek out your purpose from that place (Col 3:1).
   Assuming you've spent the time to establish your firm foundation and discover your unique purpose / passion / interests, now (and only now) can you identify a few goals to live out your purpose.  Let's do it!!

   But wait, what about all those other goals you had, such as lose 10 pounds, exercise more, this or that?  Don't toss those goals out but re-frame them (and re-direct them as needed) based on the first two layers of your pyramid.  There's nothing wrong with health goals or financial goals that are grounded in the truth of our firm foundation, so ask yourself the checking question:  "Is this goal supported by who I am and my purpose on the planet?"
   This is what I call peeling back the onion.  There are many layers/complexity behind us and our goals.  Let's peel back the layers of the onion to get to the real "why" behind our goals.  As an example, let's say you want to pay off your home mortgage early.  Why?  I don't want to waste money on interest and I want to lower my monthly expenses.  Why?  If I lower my expenses, I can save more.  Why?  If I can save more and lower my expenses, I can retire earlier.  Why?  If I retire earlier, I won't have to work and will have more time.  Why do you want more time?  That's a good question!!  I would argue that the answer to that question is the most important thing in the world (it's part of our goals, from our purpose, from our foundation) and we should start doing that NOW (not when we pay off the mortgage & retire).
   I think I'll leave you to ponder that and please do so, the happiness and utility of your life depend on it!

Find Your Purpose

8/31/16 - The 3 steps below are for those that don't like to read.  After the 3 steps, there's more words, resources, etc.  

How to "find your purpose" in 3 Steps 

(note, these are not 3 easy steps):

1) "Know thyself" & "To thine own self be true"  (Socrates & Shakespeare respectively)

This is largely an individual exercise, but can be augmented by close trusted friends such as a spouse.  Depending on how busy your life is, this step might have two phases:  A) get out of the noise/distractions of your current life and rest and be for a while, then phase B) listen, ask and answer the questions.  

The questions you might ask (be honest with yourself and write em down, there are no wrong answers when brainstorming):

• What do I like to do?
• When am I most happy?
• What am I most passionate about?
• Why am I here?  What does the world need, my community need, my neighbor need?
• When I'm dead, what do I want people to remember?

So once you've answered these questions (with time, patience & honesty), move on to step 2...

2) Know God   You can (and should) bounce back and forth between steps 1 & 2 (or combine them if you'd like).  
Away from the noise/distractions of your current life, get to know God, seek Him, listen and read the Bible.
We are each fearfully and wonderfully made.  God has made us unique in our personalities, skills, passions & interests so who better to consult with than your creator?  What did You make me for anyway?!?!
Listen, ask and answer questions.  Take your brainstormed list from step 1 and refine it, prioritize it, look at it with your maker, add to it, subtract from it (but keep your notes, for step 3).
One of my favorite teachings is on this (all 3 steps) is from Church of the Highlands:  "I am a minister"
He made you expressly for purposes that He lined up in advance (Eph 2:10).  He didn't make you and then size you up and think to Himself, "hmmmm, what do you suppose we could do with this one?" but rather the other way around.  :)
A few verses to ponder:  Eph 2:10, Ex 9:16, Job 42:2, Prov 19:21, Prov 20:5, Rom 8:28 & II Tim 1:9.

3) Confirm & Pilot
First, don't shortcut the time and investment in step 1 and 2,  Depending on how much busy-ness and noise is in your life and how effectively you can withdraw from it to a quiet peaceful place, the first two steps may take awhile.  Assuming you can easily get to a quiet place, I'd plan for AT LEAST 2-3  sessions for each step.  These individual sessions might be 1-2 hours long, maybe shorter.  Have a pen, paper & Bible near by.  Take good notes, draw pictures, dream, etc.  These may by helpful in Step 3.
So in Step 1 & 2 you've talked, brainstormed and confirmed with yourself, God (The Word) and possibly a trusted friend.  Now is when we go to that trusted friend or two.  I'd encourage you to set up an hour/lunch with this person and give them a heads up to what you are looking for.  In fact, you might even give them some questions about you that they could answer before meeting.  Then do it.  Sit down with them and review, brainstorm, discuss, ask for their input, sounding board, etc.  What you are looking for here is confirmation such as...  "I think I'm really passionate about and good at _______.  Do you see that in me?  What else do you see in me?"
If you have your pilot plans (how you are going to intentionally invest and try it out), you may want to review them and use your trusted friend as a sounding board.  (depending on your pilot you may also want to consult with an expert who is already doing it (see ch 7-8 of Broken Escalators))
Start doing it!  After step 1, 2 and half of 3, begin your pilot (see below for info).  Learn from it and live life to the fullest (which includes regular repeat visits to step 1, 2 & 3)  :)

----  End of the brief summary, read on for more info, thoughts & resources ----

Notes on how pilots work:   First of all, this may be a new term to some of you, so let's define it...   A pilot program, also called a feasibility study or experimental trial, is a small-scale, short-term experiment that helps an organization learn how a large-scale project might work in practice.  In  nutshell it's trying it out.  So let's say you went through steps 1-3 above and you are convinced that gardening is your passion, it's what makes you happy.  Before you buy a field and a tractor, you might consider tearing up a corner of your yard and trying it.  Then, after a season, you can reflect and plan for the next year.  Keep in mind, that a successful pilot provides information which might lead you to decide to make a bigger garden next year OR you might decide, that's not for you and a change in direction and your real passion is photography.  A note on this:  Don't be the person that's trying something new every year (jack of all trades, master of none) but keep in mind that to build/invest in something meaningful you will face challenges that will require fortitude and persistence to overcome.  Go back to steps 1-3 to evaluate if you are giving up too early or if you should press on.  
   If you want more info on pilots or a real life example (mine, which is in-process), please contact me.  

Additional Resources:  

• 5 Whys:  This is a basic tool to get down to the root cause.  Typically, it's used for problem solving (need to know the root cause to fix the problem and not just a symptom) but it can also be used to get to the "why" behind your passion/interest.  The way it works is simple, you ask "why" five times (or until you get to the root cause.  So here's a quick example:
• Gardening is my passion
• Why?
• Because I like to watch the plants grow
• Why?
• Because when they grow, I feel that I'm accomplishing something
• Why?
• Because, there are so many challenges in life, economy, politics, etc. that the garden is one place where it's just me and God free from the distractions of the world
• Why?
• Because from this place I'm reminded that I'm not in charge, God is and all I need to do is set things up and He will bring them to pass and this helps me in the rest of life.  
• Start with Why - Simon Sinek - Ted Talk
• Purpose driven life LINK
• The Alchemist - Coelho
• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Steven Covey

God is Love

I can never fit my ponderings into a tweet so here's the continuation...
9/1/16 - Just a few reminders for the today...

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:8)
We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19) even though we were sinners (Rom 5:8)
Love one another (John 13:34) and they will know that we are Christ followers by our love for one another (John 13:35)

Mindset Motivation Methodology

I heard this from a podcast this week.  I think it was the Entreleadership Podcast (sorry can't remember).

So here's a little nugget to start your week:

All your employees need to have proper mindset, motivation & methodology in order to be successful for your business.  Let's not forget, the primary employee that will make or break your business in life is YOU!  So, you need to make sure these are all working in your benefit to maximize your potential and the potential of those around you...

Mindset:  This is the first and most important.  Essentially this is how you think, what you believe, etc.  Just who do you think you are anyway?  If you think you are a winner, you will win (or at least keep trying).  If you think you don't have what it takes, then YOU DON'T.  What do you believe about your work, your company, you job, your marriage, etc.  If your cup is half empty, then it's just that.  Mine is half full and I'm going to fill the rest.

Motivation:  This is the "why" behind what you are doing.  Why are you doing it?  What is your crusade?  What are you aiming for?  If it's to make money so that I can retire or go do something else, check again and dig deeper to find what your real motivation/passion is.  When you peel back the onion, you'll find that any motivation that will lead to success will be true, honorable & noble, so give it your all, your best & be the best dang _____ you can possibly be!  (Col 3:17)

Methodology:  This is how you go about it.  With the right tools you will be successful.  Old antiquated tools, methods, etc. may get the job done, but not as well nor as fast (this burning time, one of our most valuable assets).  We've all used the handle of a screwdriver as a hammer aaaaannnnnnd, it kinda works, but not really.  Similarly don't balance your checkbook with pen, paper and an abacus.  Don't market your business without social media.  Don't learn a new skill outside your wheelhouse if you can outsource it easier and effectively so you can focus on what you do best.  Sure, I can change my own oil, but really, is that the best use of my time???

#1 - Apply this to yourself.
#2 - Apply this to your team.  How?  On Mindset & Motivation see where they are at (this takes time and patience to understand).  Then, maybe share where you are at or your journey in these two areas (yes, this also takes time and vulnerability as well as a listening ear).  Once you know where they are at, you can decide to groom them (keep them around) or broom them (show them the door).  Finally, if they have the first two M's be sure to support your team and give them the latest technology, tools and methods to SUCCEED WILDLY