(started 4/11/12, posted 4/14/12)
- What would you be doing in your life if all your dreams were fulfilled?
- If you were perfectly content, then what would you do with your days, weeks & years?
- That is the goal. Can you live in that place despite the status of your goals/dreams?
These are the reflective questions. I’d encourage you to stop reading and think/ponder and put to action your thoughts before you read on.
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Let’s look at 4 case studies to flush this out:
1) Mid 20s, single individual 2) Mid 30s, life not panning out as hoped for
3) My personal situation
4) Late 60s, recently retired and moved to desirable retirement home
Case 1: This young adult has graduated college and is in their first job making a fare amount of money. Stable housing, but may be buying a house in the near future. This person is full of dreams: career, life, family, marriage, where to live/visit, children, etc. Dreams accomplished: 2 (graduated and got a job). Dreams yet to be realized: 12+. What is this person going to do with their days, weeks & years? Work hard towards achieving those dreams (and learn, grow, develop & mature in the process). The balance I would recommend to this individual is, “GO FOR IT! Go for those dreams, try to accomplish every one, but hold loosely, allow yourself to change your mind and live every day as if it is your last. You never know when your time will be up.” And I hope that this person would, pause, reflect, re-prioritize (if need be) and set some awesome goals that will make this world/life a better place while they are here. I hope that they would leave a legacy.
Case 2: this is actually my personal situation as well. Weird. As I wrote the 4 cases above I didn’t think of myself in Case 2, but now that I’m typing down here, I’m reminded of my time there. For the sake of time, I won’t get into the details (come over for a bonfire and we can discuss) but I was laid off, reflecting on failed relationships, etc. Life WAS NOT turning out at all as I had hoped or planned. What did I do? Focused on the good parts of my life and hoped, prayed, worked & waited for things to turn around. Not in my timing, but they did turn around.
So how to the original questions apply when you are in Case 2? I don’t know, but here’s my stab (take it for what it’s worth): I think, when you’re in the valley of life, despair, things not going well, you take inventory: What do you have? Yourself, the world is your oyster and maybe (maybe not) your faith. Paul says in Phil 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” I know this is easier said than done. That’s why Paul calls it a “secret” he has learned and I think it truly is. In regards to the topic at hand, the secret leads to contentment in any and all situation which leads to FREEDOM from which we can operate (see 3 questions at very top).
So let’s say you don’t know this secret, but want to. Where/how can you learn and apply this secret? Part of the secret to being content in all situations is to give yourself grace/forgiveness when you are not content. Forgetting the past (of even a few minutes ago) and picking yourself up and trying again, again and again. The other part of the secret to contentment is what your are letting in to your world. How do you spend your time? Who are you spending your time with? What books are you reading? Etc. etc. You are in charge of what your feed and how you care for yourself. Take care of yourself!!
Case 3: I’m in a very good chapter/phase of my life. I don’t have to dig deep and muster contentment like in Case 2. I haven’t achieved all my goals and dreams. I still have to work, but enjoy and am thankful to have a good job.
So in my case, I sometimes operate in the rat race or hamster wheel of life filling my plate too full that I can’t really invest in self or others as I’m running from one thing to the next with a todo list that is ever growing OR like right now, I have time, take time, make time to be who I am. I relax, reflect and then operate in my life, relationships from my center, my values. I make the world a better place. I invest in others. I live every day as if it’s my last. I treasure time relating to people, doing life, living life, together. I hopefully leave a legacy :).
Case 4: Recently retired. Was wise/lucky enough to be in a good financial position. Much like, but very different than embarking into the life phase of marriage/career/kids is embarking into the life phase of “not having to work” and being on vacation 365 days/yr. Kinda weird how we do it on this planet working hard to retire and once your there, working hard not to die. :) Anyhow… So there you are, retired. I’m sure you achieved some of your goals, but not all. Hopefully you’re fine with that (if you achieved all your goals, you didn’t set them high enough). You may have some hopes/goals that you want others to achieve (maybe your kids) but you may have little influence on those. So, what do you do?
Some golf a lot. Some do the same as they always have. Some get a job. I’m not there, but when I get there, I would do exactly what I’m doing right now (which makes sense since I’m living every day as if it’s my last). If you don’t have an answer to the 3 questions at that top, I’ll leave you with one suggestion and two quotes:
Suggestion: get your hands on a copy of “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper ($11.07 on Amazon) and give it a thoughtful read.
“The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: Find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it put your whole soul into it—every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability that you have” –John D. Rockefeller III
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” –George Bernard Shaw
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