Long Intro, then “The Basics” (official March Blog)

(started 4/1/12 posted 4/14/12)

Today is April 1^st so I know I’m a bit behind, but I had a full month.  Full of good things.  Lots of thoughts and perspective.  I almost wrote my blog mid-month (maybe I should have).  I’m gonna blame God for one reason I’m late on my blog:

This month I started having lunch with God again.  My goal is to have lunch with God once a week.  It’s a good break from my day and infuses “God mindedness” into my day.  Here are two nuggets from my lunches with God in March (the 1^st being why my blog is late):

Nugget #1:  God does not have to do lists with all important world changing activities that He needs to do.  He also doesn’t have a calendar (He is unbounded by time).  I on the other hand have a todo list, limited time, a calendar, etc.  When I have lunch with God, I often want to cram His Godness into my framework of time, to do list and schedule.  This is one reason I journal:  so I can capture and write down all this good stuff that I think about when I’m still and listening.  WRITING IT DOWN IN A JOURNAL ISN’T THE END GAME!  It might be a helpful reminder, but what really matters is what’s coursing through my mind/actions/reactions on a minute by minute basis.  So, I sat down with God for lunch and decided NOT to cram Him in my framework and I didn’t write ANYTHING down, but just was.  We conversed, dialoged and I didn’t have to “capture meeting notes” (which is very helpful at work, but not necessary with God). 

                Another analogy to describe the goal or end game:  My circulatory system is very focused.  My blood has but one purpose:  to take care of my body (bring oxygen, nutrients, etc. and take away carbon dioxide and waste).  That’s all it does.  No todo lists, but it freely and completely does its job every minute of every day and thus I’m alive.  This is what God/the Holy Spirit is to our minds and souls.  It has but one purpose (John 10:10) that we might have life and life abundantly.  The less we are God minded and have God’s perspective, the less we are alive (peace, joy, freedom, etc.).  Don’t write it down, just do it.  :)

Nugget #2:  And this is related, but I put “lunch with God” on my calendar for every Wednesday from 11:30-1:00 and while this isn’t a bad idea, God said to me, “ I’m not so concerned about you religiously tapping out of your day to join me for lunch (although I welcome it).  I find it more valuable if we are flexible in our 1:1 time so that you can be 100% with your life work, relationships, etc. AND you bring God mindedness 100% into your life, work, relationships, etc.”  So I’m trying to do that :). 

So now onto the March blog entry: 

The Basics

Intro:  So this morning I dove into some good stalwart reminder verses.  In part 1, I’ll share those and then in part 2 we’ll look at application (hopefully in a free sort of way). 

Part 1:  In Luke 10:38-42 (Mary/Martha story) we are reminded not to be worried and bothered about so many things (to do lists, schedules, etc.) but that only “one thing” is necessary.  I’d say that “one thing” is to be God minded as we are reminded in Col 3:1 to set our mind on things above and not only on the things of this earth.  (There’s lots I could add here, including copy/paste of the entire new testament, but I’ll move on.)  Galations 5:22-23 “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control” and “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other”.  Like blood is coursing through our veins and arteries, what is coursing through our minds, souls and lives?  Hopefully it is the Sprit (see also, nugget #1 above). 

                And lastly, Jesus says in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  Do we have it?  How? 

Part 2 – practical application – the rubber hitting the road – making it real

Just do it:  Pause (if you have to) get centered and do it. 

Reminders:  I need a lot of reminders.  I blog 1/mo just to remind myself.  Church, small group, hanging with quality friends.  Post-it notes.  Etc. 

Fellowship community:  This is worth calling out, because just like “bad company can ruin good character” when you hang/live with like minded people, not only are you reminded of what should be coursing through your veins, but you are ACTUALLY DOING IT!  Examples:  Service projects.  With the people I do life we do service projects.  Some for each other like painting, putting on a deck, etc.  Some for strangers or the larger community such as Feed My Starving Children, serving at the Veterans Home, etc.  Who is it that you do life with?  How much are your sharing/giving of yourself with these people?  As they say “You get what you give”. 

Church:  The Sunday morning traditional service.  While I’m not crazy about the concept in and of itself, it can be a great centralizing place to get filled up, connect with people and then go out and serve. 

Missions/service:  Even if you don’t have a great network or community.  So what!  Go find a place to serve and you just might find a community there. 

PARC:  This is an acronym I got from Camp Cherith years ago as the formula for good Christian living (it’s pretty good):  Prayer Action Read Christianfriends.  In a few more words:   Pray:  Spend time talking (and listening) with God.  Action:  go out and serve.  Read your Bible.  Hang out with Christian friends. 

Take Home Message:  There are many ways, feel free to pick a method or formula that works for you, but keep in mind that it’s not just the formula, but the end game is when our minds/souls are operating like our blood.  Focused and doing what it was created to do with excellence and joy! 

Grab something, try it and see how it works.  Feel free to switch it out and find what works for you until it becomes habit (and they say it takes at least 30 days to create a habit). 

Until next time…  Keep thinking (but don’t just think :)). 

3 Questions: Contentment?

(started 4/11/12, posted 4/14/12)

• What would you be doing in your life if all your dreams were fulfilled?
• If you were perfectly content, then what would you do with your days, weeks & years?
• That is the goal.  Can you live in that place despite the status of your goals/dreams?

These are the reflective questions.  I’d encourage you to stop reading and think/ponder and put to action your thoughts before you read on. 

+++++++++++++++++

Let’s look at 4 case studies to flush this out:

1)      Mid 20s, single individual
2)      Mid 30s, life not panning out as hoped for
3)      My personal situation
4)      Late 60s, recently retired and moved to desirable retirement home

Case 1:  This young adult has graduated college and is in their first job making a fare amount of money.  Stable housing, but may be buying a house in the near future.  This person is full of dreams:  career, life, family, marriage, where to live/visit, children, etc.  Dreams accomplished:  2 (graduated and got a job).  Dreams yet to be realized:  12+.  What is this person going to do with their days, weeks & years?  Work hard towards achieving those dreams (and learn, grow, develop & mature in the process).  The balance I would recommend to this individual is, “GO FOR IT!  Go for those dreams, try to accomplish every one, but hold loosely, allow yourself to change your mind and live every day as if it is your last.  You never know when your time will be up.”  And I hope that this person would, pause, reflect, re-prioritize (if need be) and set some awesome goals that will make this world/life a better place while they are here.  I hope that they would leave a legacy. 

Case 2:  this is actually my personal situation as well.  Weird.  As I wrote the 4 cases above I didn’t think of myself in Case 2, but now that I’m typing down here, I’m reminded of my time there.  For the sake of time, I won’t get into the details (come over for a bonfire and we can discuss) but I was laid off, reflecting on failed relationships, etc.  Life WAS NOT turning out at all as I had hoped or planned.  What did I do?  Focused on the good parts of my life and hoped, prayed, worked & waited for things to turn around.  Not in my timing, but they did turn around. 

                So how to the original questions apply when you are in Case 2?  I don’t know, but here’s my stab (take it for what it’s worth):  I think, when you’re in the valley of life, despair, things not going well, you take inventory:  What do you have?  Yourself, the world is your oyster and maybe (maybe not) your faith.  Paul says in Phil 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  I know this is easier said than done.  That’s why Paul calls it a “secret” he has learned and I think it truly is.  In regards to the topic at hand, the secret leads to contentment in any and all situation which leads to FREEDOM from which we can operate (see 3 questions at very top). 

                So let’s say you don’t know this secret, but want to.  Where/how can you learn and apply this secret?  Part of the secret to being content in all situations is to give yourself grace/forgiveness when you are not content.  Forgetting the past (of even a few minutes ago) and picking yourself up and trying again, again and again.  The other part of the secret to contentment is what your are letting in to your world.  How do you spend your time?  Who are you spending your time with?  What books are you reading? Etc. etc.  You are in charge of what your feed and how you care for yourself.  Take care of yourself!! 

Case 3:  I’m in a very good chapter/phase of my life.  I don’t have to dig deep and muster contentment like in Case 2.  I haven’t achieved all my goals and dreams.  I still have to work, but enjoy and am thankful to have a good job. 

                So in my case, I sometimes operate in the rat race or hamster wheel of life filling my plate too full that I can’t really invest in self or others as I’m running from one thing to the next with a todo list that is ever growing OR like right now, I have time, take time, make time to be who I am.  I relax, reflect and then operate in my life, relationships from my center, my values.  I make the world a better place.  I invest in others.  I live every day as if it’s my last.  I treasure time relating to people, doing life, living life, together.  I hopefully leave a legacy :). 

Case 4:  Recently retired.  Was wise/lucky enough to be in a good financial position.  Much like, but very different than embarking into the life phase of marriage/career/kids is embarking into the life phase of “not having to work” and being on vacation 365 days/yr.  Kinda weird how we do it on this planet working hard to retire and once your there, working hard not to die.  :)  Anyhow…  So there you are, retired.   I’m sure you achieved some of your goals, but not all.  Hopefully you’re fine with that (if you achieved all your goals, you didn’t set them high enough).  You may have some hopes/goals that you want others to achieve (maybe your kids) but you may have little influence on those.  So, what do you do? 

                Some golf a lot.  Some do the same as they always have.  Some get a job.  I’m not there, but when I get there, I would do exactly what I’m doing right now (which makes sense since I’m living every day as if it’s my last).  If you don’t have an answer to the 3 questions at that top, I’ll leave you with one suggestion and two quotes:

                Suggestion:  get your hands on a copy of “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper ($11.07 on Amazon) and give it a thoughtful read.

“The road to happiness lies in two simple principles:  Find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it put your whole soul into it—every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability that you have” –John D. Rockefeller III

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” –George Bernard Shaw

New Year’s Resolutions, Death Bed Insights & Our Human Nature

Disclaimer #1 (just in case there are more):  I write about this stuff to remind myself, to encourage myself to start / keep doing it.  I’m not “there” but I’m getting “there”.  As the saying goes, those who can’t do, teach! 

Disclaimer #2:  If you’re sick of my self-help examine your life and change themes, I’m sorry, but that’s what I think about, I need a reminder, and it’s MY BLOG.  You don’t have to read it :).    

So here we are.  Where is here?  Is here the rat race of life?  Over committed?  Never enough time in the day?  If you are living a life full of purpose, peace, perspective, etc., feel free to stop reading now (or better yet, respond below and tell us your secret!).  For the rest of us, to varying degrees of course, we are living in the rat race of life.  I think Lily Tomlin said it best: “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat!”

New Year’s Resolutions:

·         - Lose weight

·         - Exercise more

·         - Spend more time with family/friends

·         - Finish or start the project

·         - Learn to _____

Death Bed Insights:  I wish I would have…

·         - Worked less & played more

·         - Went barefoot earlier in the spring and later in the fall

·         - Not focused my time/energy so much on _____

·         - Spent more time/energy on ______

·         - Gone on that trip

·         - Told that person how much I loved, cared about and appreciated them

Human Nature:

·         - ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)

·         - Distracted

·         - Never satisfied, always longing for more – could be for the better or the worse.  I actually think God wired us this way for a reason.  If the world gets the best of us, we can pursue worldly success (which in my eyes is a really fast gerbil wheel) OR we can apply how we are made to pursue higher causes (see Death Bed Insights) which in my eyes is soaring higher and higher, faster and better, but at the end of this life in worldly terms, no one may notice (that’s the point).  If you want to read more on this check out “Soul Cravings” by Erwin McManus. 

·         - Imperfect (sin)

Since this is a repeated theme in this blog, I will be brief and end with the PROBLEM, ROOT CAUSE & SOLUTION…

PROBLEM:  Some of us are stuck in the rat race (lack of peace, purpose, joy, etc.) and need help. 

ROOT CAUSE:  Human nature and this imperfect world we live in (capitalism, greed and not enough Mother Theresa’s and Ghandi’s).  The deceitfulness of riches. 

SOLUTION:  There are many.  There are many formulas/solutions/ways that people deal with the “root cause” and overcome the “problem”.  I’ll give you my solution:  (Disclaimer #3, it only kinda works some of the time.  If you have a better solution, let me know, respond below).  My solution has several variables, some that I’m actually doing and others that I’m not…

·         - Balanced life:  diet, exercise, sleep, work, recreation

·         - Go to church:  This is great for me.  Makes me sit still for an hour, listen, think and re-gain the perspective that I might have lost due to human nature and this imperfect world. 

·         - Try to journal daily:  This is great for me when I do it.  Very similar to church for me.

·         - Regular, consistent fellowship with like minded folk:  I’m in a small group/Bible Study.  We gather for food, chit chat, share our ups and downs, learn from each other, serve together, learn together, etc.    

·         - Force myself to Blog 12 times in 2012:  Again slows me down enough to reflect, examine and maybe even move forward. 

One requirement for me to implement these items is to “be OK accomplishing less” but what do I mean by “accomplishing less”?  Go back and read the death bed insights above.  I might have less in my bank account, fewer luxury items and an average job title, but what really matters?  The statement “be OK accomplishing less” should really be stated “be OK accomplishing less in this imperfect world’s eyes” because on my death bed, I think I will have accomplished very much. 

While you think about that I’ll leave you with this…

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!"

Thanks for reading!!

Communication (the official Jan blog post)

It’s Jan 31^st and while I’ve had the ideas in my head and even scratched out on paper, I’ve procrastinated and now have about 2 hours to get this in before midnight. 

What to title this one?  Hmmmmm.  Part 1 will be theory on the source of our communication and Part 2 will be Ben on the operating table himself, yeah I may even get vulnerable in the hopes that my openness is helpful to someone out there. 

Disclaimer:  Some of these ideas come from a message from Jimmy Evans “Skills for Positive Communication”

Part 1 – THE SOURCE OF OUR COMMUNICATION

There is so much that we communicate and while communication is mostly body language, I’m going to focus on our spoken words but you can easily apply this to unspoken communication as well. 

Words.  What’s the big deal anyway?  They are easy to make, we don’t even have to think (and some don’t) before making them and sending them.  They don’t cost us much to make/send.  Interesting how easy we can create and send words, yet how powerful and lasting they can be.  Words are powerful and long lasting. 

Words are powerful and long lasting.  I’m sure we can all remember a word of encouragement even from years ago that helped us press on and achieve things we didn’t think we could.  From a parent, a teacher, a coach or even a peer.  I’m sure we also remember a word that tore us down, made us feel insecure.  Often happens on school playgrounds, but even into adult hood sarcasm and a little harmless fun poking.  Is it really harmless?  Words have the power to create.  Words have the power to destroy. 

Where do our words come from?  More specifically, where do YOUR words come from?  They are easy to make.  Sometimes if we’re not thinking, they just flow out of our mouths.  From where are these words flowing?  These words come from our heart (feel free to pause for reflection).  Yes, the state of our heart and what we think/feel about ourselves and others is what comes out in our words. 

Q1:  What words naturally flow out of your mouth?

Q2:  Are these reflective of what’s in your heart, right or wrong?

Q3:  As you look into your heart, what’s currently naturally there, do you like it or not?

Part 2 – AN EXAMPLE

TO BE CONTINUED…  It’s now 30 minutes to my self-imposed deadline and while I did get into Part 2, it’s not ready to share.  Sorry. 

About This Blog

I think this is answered in one of my original posts many many months ago, but that's ancient history so I'm going to ask and answer the question again...

Why am I blogging?

Two reasons:
1) for me
2) for you

For me, it keeps me thinking, moving forward, pondering, contemplating, etc.  A few of my favorite quotes are...

"know thyself" - Ancient Greek Aphorism
"to thine own self be true" - Shakespeare
"the unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates

I don't have the answers, but I'm gutsy enough to put out here what I think or what I'm thinking about.  My hope is that it might have some value for you.  If nothing else, maybe it will keep you thinking. 

Enjoy reading and let me know what you think (insert smiley face here).