Phases of Life - let's think about it

So I'm 48 now and reflecting on life phases...

Hopefully this encourages you to think, reflect & ponder who you are, where you are now and where you are going. 🙂

(I'm skipping birth-18 and limiting my scope to after high school graduation)

INVEST: This is typically a selfish phase of investment in self (such as college). In this phase you are tested to see how you do on your own (you don't have to listen to your parents if you don't want to). You will have many choices and freedoms and you will reap what you sow (Gal 6:4-5,7). I hope you choose/chose wisely, but if you didn't, at least you learned! (Heb 12:11)

ESTABLISH: During this phase (early/mid 20s?) we usually select housing, a job and what we do with our time (hobbies/passions/interests). Also during this phase we inform our decisions based on our lens and how we see the world and our place in the world. For me, I established that I'm a beloved child of God, that is passing through this world with the purpose of loving others and sharing Christ. 

BUILD: On the foundation we established and the beliefs we have, we build, build, build. Hopefully in fruitful joyful labor, but the slippery slope in America is to accumulate (more, more, more). Society tells us that we can have it all, do it all, be it all and we can fall into the trap of building our own personal kingdom (life). We make many choices to establish security (retirement) and joy (entertainment/pleasure). I want to battle the busy rat race and remain in the peace and purpose established above. 

CONTENT: (40s?) For me, I think I'm in this phase. I recently left my highly compensated and secure job to do work that is much harder for a fraction of the compensation (Marriage & Family Therapy). I did not sell all that I have to follow Jesus (Matt 19:21) and still live comfortably in a nice home and I have nice things. The milestone/change of this phase is to stop building your personal kingdom and focus more (more, more & more) on things of eternal value. No one on their deathbed wishes that they spent more time at work, so keep this in check. 

CONTENT PHASE 2: (50s & 60s?) During this phase, we start to feel our age more, which reminds us to focus on the truly important and let go of things that don't matter. 

CONTENT PHASE 3: (70+) If you haven't already, in this phase you'll experience more loss as people (friends/family/community) pass. Yet another reminder of what really matters. 

So my takeaway as I reflect on these phases is how important our day to day decisions are! I'd argue that during invest, establish & build we can and should be content and focused on the truly important. 

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And here are a few semi-related resources to consider:

1) Wild At Heart - stages of manhood (John Eldridge) link to Amazon

2) Primal Path - rite of passage to develop boys to men (12-20 yrs) https://primalpath.co/

3) Heart of a Warrior - men's spiritual development cirriculum https://www.heartofawarrior.org/

4) Raising a Modern Day Knight - (Robert Lewis) https://rmdk.com/

5) Resolute: men's ministry to develop spiritual mentors (Vince Miller) https://beresolute.org/

6) The Intentional Father (Jon Tyson) Amazon link

10 lbs in a 5 lb bag

 Hello readers. I haven't blogged for awhile but I wanted to share this latest thought and what I would call wisdom (at least for me). 

I've been working on my tone which essentially means being more patient and I've been pretty successful at home, but not as successful at work and here's my epiphany: when I'm stressed, I'm much less likely to be compassionate, full of patience and grace. 

At work, I'm busy, over busy and I feel like I'm always trying to put 10 lbs in a 5 lb bag (which isn't possible by the way). When I'm operating like this, I'm scrambling and fighting a battle I can't win (pause for reflection) and in addition, I'm not patient and graceful. So that would make it a lose-lose situation. I lose and the person I'm impatient with as well also looses.

So here's my action plan: Keep expectations realistic (5 lbs in a 5 lb bag) and then I will be able to be who I want to be (full of patience & grace). 

What will this take? Prioritization and focus (see 4/3/11 blog post on "never enough time" & "big rocks"). Anytime we say "yes" to one thing, we are saying "no" to several other things. With that being said, I'm going to finish saying "yes" to this blog post and move on to the next part of my day. 

Peace. 

9/10/22 Update: In May of this year I left my busy corporate job and now I am a therapist (Marriage & Family). This has been quite the life change. I still need to think about it, but it's not as hard 🙂

Do you want to encounter Jesus?

I was inspired by the sermon this morning (Mark 5:21-43, https://extendgrace.org/) and wanted to share...

The question was asked: Who would be most likely to encounter Jesus? To know and walk closely with Jesus?
I quickly scribbled an answer and then came up with two more...

1) If I had very regular quiet times full of prayer and Word, I think I would encounter Jesus. If I loved others unconditionally ALWAYS, I would probably encounter Jesus more.

2) Feelings: If I had the desire to know and be with Jesus, I would be full of joy, peace, power & purpose. And encounters with Jesus.

3) The only pre-req is that we have a NEED. Jesus meets us when we are in "need" of Him.

YES. Jesus is available no matter what! We don't need to have good Christian disciplines. We don't need to have the warm fuzzy feelings. We just need to need Him and ask for an encounter (see Mark 5:21-43).

++++ additional thoughts ++++
Upon additional pondering... The nature of the word "encounter" implies not very often. My desire (#2 above) it to continually "encounter" Jesus 24/7 in every micro moment, thought and action.

++++ a poem I thought fitting ++++


++++ Bonus Material to Ponder ++++
Q: Do you have the power/ability to limit what God can do in your life?

A: I'm afraid the answer is "yes" because if we surrender and turn to Him, good things happen (God's power flows through us). If we turn away from God and go our own way, we delay God's power and plan coursing through our lives.

Let me know what you think. :)

Recent Inspiration - Prayer-Faith-Trust

So after some great fellowship last night and listening to a sermon this morning (Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers? at Grace Roseville) I'm inspired to ponder and think :)

Two main actionable takeaways for me:
1) More time in prayer (for work, home, school, others, etc.)
2) More faith and trust in God (living as if He's got my back in all things)

I think it's progressive and building. I like formulas so here's my formula:
Foundation: Repent from sin. We are all sinners and need to continually acknowledge and repent from our sin. A good checking question: What sin do I have in my life (thought, word & deed) today that I have not repented from? (repent is to do a 180 and walk away from it completely, no turning back)
Level 1: Obedience. We are not to judge or decide a la cart what to do, we are to listen and obey. God is very clear in this matter (ref Bible). A friend of mine shared a quote that "we are responsible to obey the outcome/result is God's responsibility." WOW! This is really freeing and totally makes sense. We are not God so all we're just responsible to follow orders. He is responsible for results. WOW.
Level 2: Faith/Trust. Building on the foundation (sinner saved by grace and beloved of the Father) and level 1 (obedience) we enter into faith/trusting in God's promises. This includes that His timing will most likely not align with ours, but that's why we are trusting him.
Level 3: Life to the fullest (John 10:10). I'd argue that with a firm foundation and solid levels 1 & 2 we can freely enjoy the life God has for us, life to the fullest. Let's enter into the joy of our master (Matt 25:23). Onward, upward & heavenward :)

Sooooo, what level are you operating at? Are any of your levels not completely solid/secure? If not, work it! (that's what I plan to do)

Standing Out vs. Fitting In

Some things to think about (a few random paragraphs, loosely connected)...
These thoughts were inspired by meeting with BUILT guys from Camp Cherith 1-19-19. 

It is in our human nature to fit in. We generally want to look like, be like, act like, dress like our peers, those around us. We generally are full of pride and concerned with our image. From this place we are OK standing out if we won or out did our peers such as being faster, better, smarter, having more, doing more, etc. Winning (standing out, competing) unfortunately carries the risk of making others feel like they are "less" since in this case you are "more". Hmmmmm, doesn't seem like winning is good to me.

Everybody gets a trophy. Is this good or bad? Let's look at it in two areas: First, consider a race in track and field... The 5th graders are told to run the race as fast as they can to win first place. Give it your best try! If after the race, they all get the same recognition, what does that say? The problem arises when we mistake "First Place" as meaning your are better than the others (see competition in the paragraph above). In reality, "First Place" just means that you were the fastest runner that day. Congratulations!! Now let's consider "everybody gets a trophy" from God's perspective: Amazing Grace. In this case, we (if we believe in Jesus) all get the prize (eternal life). God puts us all on the same level and freely gives eternal life to the thief on the cross and the Christian who followed Jesus and loved others every step of the way. I think this is good and humbling because it reminds us that we are all sinners and we all need Jesus. This sets us up to humbly serve one another because we are all in the same boat (sinners saved by amazing grace).

So back to "fitting in" with regards to our faith: In our human nature, we want to fit in; this also applies to our faith. We don't want to be different or stand out because we are a Christian. I think there are two ways of looking at this: The first (self-centered) isn't fruitful or good, but the second (Christ-following) is very fruitful. The self-centered view says that, I don't want to say I'm a Christian, carry a Bible and let them know I go to church every Sunday. They might judge me as different and weird and I want to fit in. The Christ-following view says that I will be loving and kind to everyone, just like Jesus. If I stand out, let me be weird because I love others (not because I'm a Christian or because I go to church). "They will know that we are Christians by our love." (John 13:35) In the Christ-following view we stand out for leading by example and laying down our lives for others (John 15:13) and everybody wins the more we all do this (God's amazing grace). I think this is a good idea. :)

So I hope that you can ponder and think a bit on these topics. My prayer is that if we stand out, if we are weird, different and don't fit in, it is because we have received God's grace/forgiveness/love and that we freely give it to others. May we be known for this and may it turn others to the Giver of Grace and all good things. To God be the glory. Amen.

Mindfulness 101

Yesterday was a great Saturday, filled with good things.  But I was busy (as I usually am) and around 8pm, I sat in a chair and was still for just a few minutes.  It was so good, that I want to do two things: 1) write this post for you (and for me) and 2) start to incorporate it into my daily routine. 

So what are we talking about anyway?  Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, pick your word, but I'm going to define it as being awake, at peace and still with complete freedom.  Think of it as "checking out" or even "escaping" for a few moments.  Some envision stepping out of yourself and observing your self from the outside.  Whatever works for you. 

Why?  Because it's good for you (and all those around you).  The mind needs good rest at night to sort through the previous day and set you up for success for the new day (there are countless articles and data supporting this).  And the great part about sleep, is you don't have to think about it.  Your brain does it automatically while you are resting in deep sleep.  BUT that's not what we are talking about here.  I'm not going ot ramble on and justify that it's good for you but what I will ask is that you try it for 10 days and then decide for yourself. 

Here are a few guidelines that I am going to try to follow (take them with a grain of salt and feel free to modify per your preference)

• Set a timer:  I prefer to set a timer, that way I'm free to let thoughts go.  Start small with 5 minutes and then take it from there.  
• Eyes:  I close my eyes so I have fewer distractions, but feel free to pick something to look at, but stay focused.  
• Head: Straight posture, not leaning on a headrest tempting sleep ;)
• Feet:  Flat on the floor.  Don't cross your legs.
• Hands:  I prefer open hands, palms up, ready to receive whatever peace comes your way.  
• Breathing:  Deep and slow, usually I start by paying close attention to my breaths (intently observing).  
• Mind:  This is the most important (obviously) and my suggestion is to just keep it free and observe.  If you think of your todo list, don't fret, there's nothing wrong with a todo list.  Just let your thoughts come and go observing each one.  Same with feeling or sights or sounds.  If you have an itch, don't scratch it, just observe it, feel it and then move on.  
• Where:  Up to you, but a peaceful quiet place where you won't be interrupted is recommended.  
• A word:  Some people pick a word or phrase to center/re-center on during their time.  Totally up to you.  

I'd love to hear what you think after trying something for 5-10 days.    

Choose Your Own Adventure (Grace)

I dont know if you remember those "choose your own adventure" books where you got to make decisions and the story would unfold based on those decisions...  Life is kinda like that too and this blog has that simple style too (but only 1 question as I like to keep it short).

Q1:  If all your accomplishments big and small were stripped away and shown to have no worth, would you be OK standing before God with nothing but your sinful, selfish, self to offer?  Would you be OK?  Why or why not?

Option A:  If your answer is "Yes, I'm OK because that's how grace works." then from that place (all of your accomplishments being worth nothing), how do you operate today, this week, month, year?  What do you aim at?  What is really important?

Option B:  If your answer is, "No, I'd be scared, ashamed and fearful standing there, a sinner." then I'd encourage you to sit down in that place before God and watch how He treats anyone who comes to Him. As you sit and watch God interact with the sinners who come, I think you will be surprised and likely overwhelmed.  You may be tempted to cry out "it's not fair" as you see worse sinners than you freely accepted and loved by God. 

(INSERT TIME HERE TO PONDER AND THINK)

Here are a few verses for you...

• A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. (Isa 42:3)
• All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. (John 6:37)
• "Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." (Rev 3:20)